


Running With Your Eyes Closed

by hyoidbone, Lieselknievel



Category: The Newsroom (US TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-11-26
Packaged: 2017-12-31 09:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1030189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyoidbone/pseuds/hyoidbone, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lieselknievel/pseuds/Lieselknievel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate Universe:  Where Mackenzie finds herself with another member of the staff and jealous parties are not happy about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Love With a View

_New Year’s Day, 2011: 6:34 AM_

Mackenzie jerked awake with wide eyes.  There was a switch that flipped on in her head that told her she had just enough time to get from the bed to the bathroom before she vomited.  Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars, _go straight to the bathroom_.  She flung the blankets from her and shoved off from the side of the bed, stumbling a little.  She reached for the foot board of her bed but when her hand dropped, she missed, and instead landed on the end of the mattress.  It startled her but she couldn’t keep her eyes open long enough to see why she missed.  Instead, she moved and squinted to find what she was looking for.

When her bathroom door wasn’t where it should be, she felt a rush of panic.  Her throat constricted and she lifted a hand to cover her mouth and tried to orient herself.  Mac swept the room with a quick glance to realize _she wasn’t in her bedroom_.  She gasped audibly while recollection filled her mind in seconds but she couldn’t sort through them because she knew she had a limited amount of time. 

She stood still, trying to keep from spinning, and took a few deep breaths to hold everything in place.  Someone else stirred in the bed and she looked down at a t-shirt she didn’t recognize.  _Shit._   Mackenzie didn’t have time to think about this.  She was running out of time and had to figure out where the bathroom was before she ruined this guy’s carpeting. 

She fumbled a little bit more until she noticed a door on the other side of the room, rushing to it, and by the moonlight from the window, she found the toilet.  With seconds left, she pushed open the lid and hit the floor in time to be splashed by the aftermath.  She leaned back against her heels, rubbed her face, before she felt a surge and a second round landed in the bowl.  Mac groaned when she leaned back again, pushing the handle, and sitting back against the tub. 

The light of the bedside lamp lit the room and she heard a stumble to the door.  A quick glance told her the painful truth her memories had tried to warn her about.

“Are you okay?” Don asked quietly, squinting against the light behind him as he tried to focus on Mackenzie.  She bit her lip, leaned her head back, and roughly rubbed the palm of her hand across her face to wake her up from whatever the hell this was.

Just as Mackenzie was about to respond, she immediately doubled over the toilet bowl and vomited a third time.  She flushed before leaning back, wiping the back of her hand across her mouth and breathed heavily as she tried to catch herself.

“I don’t think so,” she commented, closing her eyes and rubbing her fingers against the bridge of her nose.  She tried to stand and Don was quick to meet her halfway and help her up. 

“Come on.  Come sit down.  I’ll get you some mouth wash and something to settle your stomach,” he offered.  Mac thought he was being a little too calm for the situation but she didn’t notice the panic in his eyes as he backed away and fumbled for the bottle of mouthwash beneath the sink. He disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a glass of water.

Mac had washed her mouth out before his return, spitting into the sink, and took the glass of water to wash the taste away. 

“Thanks,” she murmured, as she leaned over her lap from the edge of the tub.

“Are you okay now?” he asked and Mac nodded slowly, her hair falling around her face.

“Please tell me I’m not in your apartment right now,” she begged, her voice muffled by her hand.

“Was it that bad?” Don asked, frowning, as he leaned against the bathroom counter. 

“No, I mean…” she trailed off to gather herself.  She looked up and stared at him, recalling the night slowly and in pieces and none of it made much sense.  “I think I drank too much.”

“You think?”

“Shut up.”


	2. Tomorrow's Taken

_New Year’s Day, 2011: 2:14 AM._

“Fuck you,” Mac shouted as she rolled her eyes and leaned against the edge of her desk.

Will stared at her from the door, soaked in wine from midnight and upsetting Nina as much as he had.  He felt it stick to his chest but he ignored it.

“All I ask is you not parade your new boyfriend in front of me.  Is that so difficult?”

Mackenzie’s eyes widened in surprise and she felt the urge to hit him square in the face but her fingers gripped the lip of her desk and she held herself down.

“But parading your cheerleaders and brain surgeons in the office after the broadcast is okay?  Parading them around for everyone to see you rubbing it in my face is okay?” she shouted back at him and he rolled his eyes.

“It’s not the same thing and you know it.”

“It _is_ the same thing!”

Will could feel himself losing this battle and he could pinpoint the moment he started.  The moment he opened his mouth.

“I’m not parading Wade around in front of you.  We’re actually _dating_ and you’re just picking up the biggest breasted women in a skimpy outfit you can find.”

“Hey!”

“What?  Truth hurts?”

“It does, actually,” he snapped, glaring at her, and she knew exactly what he meant.  She softened only a fraction as she took the punishment but sucked in a long breath to keep from showing it. 

“I’m not going to stop.  If he comes by, he comes by, but I don’t wave him in front of you.”

“You don’t love him.”

“You don’t—”

“I don’t what?  I don’t know that?  I do.  The way you look at him or talk to him, I can tell.”

Mackenzie felt fury rise in her and she pushed past him.  He gripped her elbow to calm her.

“Fuck off, Billy.  Do whatever you want but I’m not stopping my life to watch you punish me time and time again,” she sneered, her voice a lot lower this time as her hand pushed the door open.  She jerked her arm away from him and stormed from his office. 

She got halfway through the bullpen before Wade called for her, touching her arm lightly.

“You ready to go?” he asked and she turned to face him.  She subtly glanced behind him to Will, realizing he was watching the entire thing and she sucked in a breath. 

“Let’s go,” she commanded and disappeared off with Wade at her heels.  They stood awkwardly in the elevator, distance between them as they rode down.

“You didn’t tell me you and McAvoy dated.”

“Didn’t seem important.”

“It didn’t?  You work with the guy, Mac,” he responded, turning to face her.  Mackenzie remained a statue, staring at her blurry reflection of the elevator doors.

Mac turned slightly and glared at him, hoping her eyes would instantly kill him with laser beams but nothing happened to his fortune.  She shook her head in irritation. 

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened.  She stepped out quickly and he was behind her.  He began one direction while she went the opposite.  He spun around to see her not following him.

“Mac!”

“What?” she called back but didn’t stop.

“You’re going the wrong way!”

“No I’m not!”


	3. She Broke You So Softly

_New Year’s Day, 2011:  2:54 AM_

“This is getting real old, Maggie,” Don retorted as Maggie stared at him, angry about his reaction to a comment that had been simple enough.

“I said Elliot did a great job!  What is wrong with that?”

“You said not as good as Will.  Elliot was standing _right there!_ ”

Maggie scoffed.  “I was trying to be polite,” she threw at him, rolling her eyes and stepping away.

“Margaret!”

“Don.  Just… you’re too uptight,” she decided and left.  Don threw his hands in the air before he turned the other way and disappeared from the office party.

Within the next ten minutes, Don was sitting slouched over the bar at Hang Chew’s.  It was still packed but the crowd was dying down at 3 in the morning on New Year’s Day.  Don wasn’t ready to go home but he couldn’t stay at the party while Maggie was there.  He was far too upset to deal with it.

“What are you doing by yourself, Keefer?” he heard and turned on the stool to see Mackenzie standing next to him.  Her eyes were red and glossy as if she were holding back tears.  Her face had yet to be streaked with tears so she had managed well so far.

“Why not?” he asked, waving toward the bartender, and Mac ordered a glass of wine.  “Going to be for the rest of my life,” he added with a scoff, watching the wine fall into the glass in front of her.  Mackenzie sipped at first, glanced at her colleague, and as a second thought hit her, she downed the rest of it quickly.

“What are _you_ doing by yourself, McHale?”

“I’ve yelled at every male figure within my vicinity so far.  Saw you, thought I’d make three times a charm,” she explained, sliding onto the stool.  The server poured another glass of wine and Mackenzie gripped the stem, spinning the liquid in her glass.

Don shrugged.  “Won’t bother me.  I’ve already been yelled at so will it really count?”

Mackenzie shrugged and sipped at her wine. 

“Wade and I are through,” she admitted.

“Wade who?” Don asked, looking at her sideways.  She glared at him and he laughed a little, shaking his head.  “He wasn’t worth your time anyway.”

Mac didn’t respond, tilling the glass back, and calling for a refill.  It wasn’t working fast enough and Mackenzie was simply tired of feeling.  The emotion that was inside her she wanted to kill with as much alcohol as possible.  When her third glass was poured, she emptied, and then waved off the bartender for something else.  Something stronger.

It was on her fourth, or maybe fifth drink, that she turned and gave Don a crooked smile. 

"This New Year's has kind of sucked," she sighed. 

"Yes," he agreed. "It has." Then suddenly she fell forward, pressing her lips to his. It was nice, really nice, but Don is aware of just how drunk Mac is, and he doesn't want to be that jerk who takes advantage of an easy situation. "Mac, maybe we should slow down?" 

“I disagree with that request,” Mac gave him a grin, fumbling for the buttons on his shirt. He stilled her hand and she pouted.

“I think we should slow down,” Don tried again.

“You think too much,” Mac admonished. She pressed a searing kiss to his lips, and he found his willpower waning.  He didn't pull away or stop it but instead he found himself relaxing and worrying less.  What had caught him be surprise was no longer a worry and he allowed his body to form to hers.  His tongue explored her mouth carefully, taking in the surroundings of something foreign, something he never thought he would get to experience, and he absorbed it as if it would never happen again.

Slowly Mackenzie pulled away and searched Don’s sudden lost expression.  The silence crept between them and she turned to her new drink, swallowing the burning liquid quickly as she grabbed her coat and bag. 

“I am… I am so sorry Don,” she stammered and began to remove herself from the stool.

“Mac, wait!” he demanded, spinning on the smooth surface and gripped her elbow.

“No, this… I didn’t mean to do that.”

“And I don’t mean to do this,” he added, pulling her down to his lips once more.  His free hand combed through her hair and her arms sank, dropping her coat and bag to the floor and leaning into him.

Eventually she pulled away and she burst out in a heartbroken laugh.

“Mac, don’t go,” he pleaded and bent over to pick her things up.

“I can’t stay here,” she confessed and felt a sense of urgency to get out of the bar.  She carefully took her things from him but he didn’t let go.

“You’re drunk,” he told her and she frowned.  She felt the effects of three glass of wine and a vodka and she thought she was swimming in mid-air. 

“I need to go home,” she urged and pulled her coat, draping it over her shoulders but stumbling over in the process.  Don was quick to steady her. 

“Then I’ll help you, okay?  We’ll share a cab and I’ll make sure you get up to your apartment.”

Mackenzie nodded and leaned against his chest, Don wrapped his arms around her for a moment so she could gather herself.  After a moment, he led her outside the bar, hailed a cab and helped her inside.


	4. Trying To Reach You

_New Year’s Day, 2011:  6:56AM_

Mackenzie had moved from the bathroom to the edge of the bed.  She was still wearing Don’s shirt that swallowed her and a spare blanket across her lap.  They hadn’t figured out where she left her clothes between the front door (she hoped) and the bedroom. 

Don was sitting with distance between them so he did not crowd her.  He couldn’t help but feel a little guilty that she felt so terrible and was horrified with the idea they had spent the last several hours together. 

“I’m sorry,” he offered and she shook her head, waving her hand.

“No, no, it’s…” she trailed off and rubbed her eyes again.  She inhaled a sharp breath and leaned back, afraid she would lose her insides again.  “I mean, it’s not your fault.  I was upset and you had just broken up with Maggie for the third time this week—”

“And the last time,” he interrupted and slid a few inches closer.  Mackenzie didn’t seem fazed by it.

“That’s what you say.  It shouldn’t have happened.”

“But it did.  Why is that so wrong?”

“Because…”

“Because why?  We were each other’s rebound?  So?  If not us, then who?” he retorted and his brows lifted in question.  Mackenzie didn’t have an answer.  She parted her lips to speak but Don didn’t let her.  “Look.  I had fun last night.  At the bar, on the way back, _here_ , but that doesn’t mean this has to be weird.  I _like_ you Mackenzie.  I had a crush on you when I met you and you gave me my first position.  Then… you left there and I just forgot about it.  Since you’ve been back I haven’t been able to think about anything else.”

Mackenzie looked at him sideways, trying to register each word carefully.

 “And when you… wanted to come back here, I…” he trailed off but lost his train of thought.  He didn’t need it, however, for Mackenzie leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips.  Don reciprocated quickly, tasting the mouthwash still on her lips and finding the sting in his throat.  His hand trailed slowly to the back of her neck and she melted in to him.

“I don’t regret coming back here,” she confessed when she pulled away, remaining close.  His hand fell from her neck to her hip and her own touched his leg. He gave her a raised eyebrow, and she was quick to clarify, “What I mean is, I really don’t regret coming back here, it’s just…well, it’s just not exactly how I saw my morning going.” She gave him a rueful smile. “But, vomiting aside, of course...”

“Of course,” Don interrupted, letting a grin drift across his face, and Mac was sure that while she might not be explaining herself well, she was at least not doing any more damage.

“Vomiting aside, it’s not been an exactly unpleasant morning. Confusing, sure, but not unpleasant. I woke up thinking I was in my own apartment and had been just confused.  I was angry at Will and Wade both and just… that was all I could remember at the time.”

His grin faded. For the last thirty minutes he had forgotten about Will, about Wade, about Maggie, about everything that might make this complicated. The truth was that he didn’t really know what this was.  Whatever it was, it was something that he didn’t want to ruin before it even started. He was worried about rushing it, forcing Mac to try to figure it out before she was ready, but their jobs and colleagues made it difficult and they were limited to a handful of options. Their lives were too interconnected to fuck this up.

The responsible thing to do would be to admit that they were drunken idiots, write it off as a one-time thing, and move on with their lives. Separately. But damn it, Don liked her. Always had, and he didn’t want to pretend like it didn’t happen. It happened. And he happened to think it went pretty well.

“What time is it?” Mac asked and Don leaned back to look at the alarm clock.

“7:15,” Don replied.

Mackenzie sighed and pulled her leg up beneath her. 

“What?  It’s Saturday.  We don’t work today.”

“I’m just exhausted and… I still feel terrible.”

Don frowned and he wanted to draw her in, wanted to take care of her, but that didn’t feel like it was his job.  Instead he watched her as she sorted her head out.

“Just rest for a while.  I can make something to eat—something easy on the stomach—and go from there?”

Mackenzie lit up and glanced up at him but there was uncertainty in her eyes.

“Look.  We don’t have to figure this out now.  We have two days,” he added with a grin, pushed himself back, and gave her a kiss as if he had practiced it for years.  Mackenzie smiled and remained seated while he disappeared into the kitchen.

With Mackenzie left to her own devices in Don’s room, it gave her time to really let her thoughts hit her.  She felt like a transfer truck had just run her over and she was on the verge of vomiting again but was able to hold it back—for now.

She could smell eggs cooking and she bit her lower lip to keep her intestines down, not really in the mood to eat anything.  Don didn’t seem nearly as impacted by the alcohol as she had but she had never been one to hold her liquor.  She also realized she didn’t know how much he actually had to drink and knew she would have kept going if Don hadn’t been there to stop her. 

Slowly, Mackenzie lay back on the bed and pushed herself beneath the blankets, making herself comfortable.  She looked around the room, observing the details, but it wasn’t long before sleep and exhaustion crept back up to her mind and caused her to fall back asleep. 

Don showed up a few minutes later with a plate and glass of water in hand.  He frowned when he saw her asleep but decided she was far too beautiful like that to wake her.  Instead, he quietly ate what he made, then set the plate and glass off to the side and began to work his way into his own bed.  He kissed her forehead gently, she groaned beneath the touch, and he watched her sleep until it came for him a few minutes later.


	5. Give What You Take

_New Year’s Day, 2011:  3:10AM_

At the outset of the evening, Sloan had been hopeful about starting the New Year well.

Don was broken up with Maggie, at least for the moment, and as far as she knew he wasn’t dating anyone else.

It was time to make her move.

Because Don was lovely and wonderful and a thousand other adjectives, but what he was not was observant, and Sloan was tired of standing by on the sidelines waiting for him to figure it out and finally ask her out. She was starting to think if she waited for him she might be waiting forever.

Unacceptable.

She wouldn’t admit to anyone how her stomach flipped when she found Maggie upset earlier in the day, her relationship with Don in tatters. Sloan was never one to find joy in other’s misfortunes, and while she felt badly for Maggie, honestly, she also felt like doing a cartwheel. Because Don was single. He was _single_! And she was also depressingly single, despite a string of dates with a number of eligible bachelors, including a professional football player and a number of successful brokers.

And New Year’s Eve was approaching, and if romantic comedies taught her nothing else, they taught her that big gestures should happen on holidays. Would the scene in _When Harry Met Sally_ be nearly as satisfying had Harry just burst into Sally’s office on a random Tuesday? Sloan thought not. It was the symbolism of it all. A new year, a new start.

But despite the hopeful start to the day, everything seemed to fall apart as the midnight hour approached. Every time she went looking for Don, he seemed to disappear. And when she did find him, finally, he was arguing with Maggie and she figured that it probably wasn’t the best time to admit that she very much had a very large crush on him. Somehow she doubted it would go over very well.

Instead she poured herself a glass of champagne and hung back against the wall, watching the merriment and scowling. She was unsurprised to see Will approaching, a matching scowl on his face and his shirt covered in wine. Nina Howard had not taken to being civilized very well.  

“You don’t seem like you’re having a very good time,” she pointed out, taking a sip of her drink.

“No,” he answered bluntly. “I’m not. I’ve had wine thrown in my face, and fucking Mackenzie’s fucking boyfriend is a fucking prick.” Sloan thought privately that he was probably more upset about the second thing than the first thing, but she knew enough to know not to say that.

“He seemed all right to me,” Sloan shrugged. She hadn’t really talked to Wade very much. He seemed perfectly adequate, but she knew there was no future with him and Mackenzie. Not when Mac was still hung up on Will, and Will, despite his denials and bravado, was still hung up on Mac. Wade was a way for Mac to kill time and sooner or later he would be out on his ass.

Sloan was not going to bother getting too attached, all things considered.

“Well, he’s a prick,” Will muttered.

“What did he do?” Besides date the woman you’re in love with, Sloan mentally filled in the blanks.

“Nothing, never mind, why are you hanging back here in the dark?” He asked. Sloan shrugged again, taking a longer drink this time and cursing her bad timing. Don had disappeared again and she thought he might be gone for the night. Part of her wanted to go down and check to see if he happened to migrate to Hang Chew’s, but the other part of her wanted to just go home and crawl into bed and stay there for a while.  

“It’s been sort of a shitty New Year’s,” she finally answered, but it wasn’t really an answer, and Will raised an eyebrow, which she took to mean that he had noticed that she hadn’t really answered the question. Damn working with intelligent people. It was hard to play dumb around incredibly smart people.

“I’ll raise a glass to that,” Will sighed. “2011 is starting off to be pretty fucking terrible.” She hummed an agreement. “I should go home and change. I’m sticky and kind of pissed off and I really just want a cigarette and to get out of this tux, not necessarily in that order.”

“Kind of pissed off?” It was Sloan’s turn to raise an eyebrow and Will lifted both hands in surrender.

“Really pissed off,” he acknowledged.

“At Mac?” She asked, but he didn’t say anything. She noticed his jaw tightened, so she thought she might be on the money, but she also thought that it was probably closer to say that he was angry at Mackenzie _and_ himself. “Well, happy New Year’s, Will.”

“Happy New Year’s, Sloan,” Will replied. He pushed himself away from the wall and started heading towards the door.

“Hey Will?” Sloan called out. Will turned back around to face her. “She’s going to break up with him sooner rather than later. You know that, right?” Will made a noncommittal noise and then walked away, giving her a small wave before he shoved his hands in his pockets.

If this was how all of 2011 was going to be, it was going to be a long year.

* * *

After Will walked away, Sloan finished her drink and was feeling slightly more brave. Her plan may have to be tweaked, but it was still New Year’s Eve, right? Well, okay, it was New Year’s Day, but she hadn’t been to sleep yet, so it still totally counted.

She didn’t think that Don would have gone home. Not yet. He was too mad, and probably not drunk enough to go home to an empty apartment and all that quiet. So she quickly grabbed her coat, said her goodbyes to the few stragglers still at the party, and jabbed the elevator button impatiently.

No, this was better, it was, because this felt like a romantic comedy. Her rushing off to find Don and confess her undying love to him was pretty romantic. Only, undying love might be an exaggeration, and she didn’t really need to rush so much as she was feeling the several drinks she had coursing through her propelling her forward.

If not now, when?

Who knows, in a couple of days Don could be back with Maggie, and she might have missed her chance. The window of opportunity here was possibly very small, and not that she felt good about stealing Maggie’s boyfriend, but everyone acknowledged that Don and Maggie’s relationship was dysfunctional at best, but more like disastrous.

Plus Sloan noticed the way that Maggie watched Jim; she may not be very good at human relationships, but she wasn’t totally stupid or unobservant. Maggie liked Jim. Jim liked Maggie. Sloan was really just doing the two of them a favor and removing an obstacle in the path to their happiness.

“You’re welcome,” she whispered to herself, making herself feel a thousand times less guilty, as she pushed open the doors to ACN and stepped out into the January night.

Hang Chew’s was still, amazingly, open and she had a good feeling about this. She steeled her shoulders, took a deep breath, and pushed open the door.

The place was mostly empty, the bartender wiping down the bar, and just a couple of people on the low couches. She glanced around and at first look didn’t see Don.

Damn.

She was so convinced that he was going to be there. She was about to leave when she caught sight of Mac sitting at a stool near the end of the bar.

She was drunk, really drunk. Sloan could tell that from all the way over here. Mac looked like she was going to tip off and end up on the floor, but then she righted herself and took another long sip of her drink. Sloan was about to cross over to commiserate with Mackenzie when she noticed that she wasn’t alone.

It was Don! He was here!

Sloan brightened up. She would just go over there and have a drink with the two of them, and bundle the drunk Mac into a cab and make her move. She started towards the back of the bar when she saw Mac lean forward and kiss Don.

Sloan froze, her eyes wide in horror.

Mac was kissing Don. Mac was kissing Don.

Didn’t Mac have a boyfriend? Where the hell was Wade? Sloan knew that the two of them weren’t going to be together forever, but she thought they’d make it more than another two hours.

Or maybe they weren’t broken up. Mac did have a history of not being exactly faithful, and even thinking it made Sloan feel guilty, because Mac was her best friend, and she was a damn good friend, and that wasn’t fair.

She stood there for another moment watching as Don pulled away and Mac pawed at his shirt, Don looked like he was trying to reason with Mackenzie, and Sloan held her breath. Mac was going to be so embarrassed in the morning when she remembered what happened. When she remembered that she threw herself at Don and he politely declined. Because that was what was happening, right? Don was declining. He had to be, otherwise this night was going to go from pretty terrible to the worst fucking night of Sloan’s life.

But then suddenly they were kissing, and Don was not pulling away. If anything he was pulling Mac closer, so close that she was practically on his lap and Sloan couldn’t stand here anymore. She couldn’t stand here and watch this.

Mac was her best friend.

And though Sloan knew logically that Mackenzie had no way of knowing that Sloan had a crush on Don, she still felt, in that drunken, indignant way, that Mac should have just guessed it.

And what about Will?

Sloan felt clammy and confused and spun on her heel and practically ran out of the bar.

Maybe she was just seeing things.

She was tired and confused and she was just seeing things.

Or maybe they were just drunk? And it was just a couple of kisses? Nothing to worry about. She’s done plenty of drunken things that she regretted later. That was all it was. Two people, feeling lonely and sad and drunk on New Year’s. Sloan wanted to go back and see what was happening, but self-preservation kicked in and she hailed a cab and climbed in.

It was just a drunken mistake.

That had to be it, the other option was just too heartbreaking to consider. 

Sloan was pretty proud of herself. She waited until she was home, the door closed behind her, before she sunk down to the floor, covering her mouth with the back of her hand and sobbing.


	6. Mercy

_New Year’s Day, 2011:  3:33AM_

Mackenzie hit the seat of the cab and leaned back, turning when the opposite door opened and Don slipped in. 

“What’s your address?”

Mackenzie was silent for a moment but shook her head.  “I don’t… I don’t want to be alone tonight,” she told him and he stared back.  The driver was getting impatient.

“Mac.  Listen to yourself.  You’re drunk and you’re mad at Will and Wade and…” Don was cut off abruptly as Mackenzie leaned in and kissed him.

“I just don’t want to be alone.”

Don leaned back a little before telling the driver his address and, irritated, he drove them to his apartment.   The entire ride Mackenzie was leaned against him, his arm wrapped around her shoulders.  She was quiet and Don couldn’t not question what was going on right now.

When they pulled up to Don's building, he half thought she might have fallen asleep on his shoulder, but when the taxi stopped, she sat straight up, and wrapped her hand in his as he paid the driver, tipping him extra for the trouble. Don tugged Mac out of the cab and into the warm lobby of his building. As soon as the elevator doors slid shut, Mac launched herself at him again, and Don didn't hesitate this time, he pushed her up against the back of the elevator, tangling his hands in her hair.

The door slid open and the two of them tumbled out, Don fumbling for his keys.

"Mac, I need to...mmm...Mac...I need...door...open...keys," his brain wasn’t working, it was too full of her, and how good she smelled, and how good she felt. 

Mackenzie reluctantly leaned back, letting go of one of his hands as he groped for his keys, forcing the end of it into the lock.  It took more effort than it ever had to wiggle the key, and finally Don shoved the door opened and they both nearly flung themselves inside.  Don slammed the door, locked it, and pushed Mac against it.  A puff of breath escaped from her and into him as he connected his lips to hers, her hands dropping to her side leaving his hands free to travel down the anatomy of her shoulders and push her coat back off and down so that it puddled onto the floor.

She leaned away from the door, kicking her shoes off at the same time that shortened her height a few inches, causing Don to arch a little.  His arm scooped around her back and pulled her upward against his body.  He spun her around, carefully as she stumbled on the smooth floor, and danced toward the bedroom.  Any doubts he held prior to this point were left in the lobby as he guided her through the threshold, alcohol buzzing quickly through his system.  He could still taste the wine on her lips, drinking them in eagerly as he began to run his hand around her middle, crinkling the fabric of her dress around her curves and over the maze of her arms. He reached behind her for the cold metal of the zipper of her dress, and she bit her lip and stilled his hands for a second.

 “You should probably be aware, just so that we’re on the same page, that I’m not wearing anything under this dress,” she blushed slightly, and pressed a kiss to his jaw line. “So after you unzip me, you might want to hurry and catch up.” Then a sly smirk slid across her face.

Don’s jaw was slightly agape as she spoke, leaning against him for the kiss, and suddenly his mind went blank, he couldn’t find the words to respond. She wasn’t wearing underwear. She.Wasn’t.Wearing.Underwear.

His fingers tugged further against the zipper and she let go, the fabric slipping across her form and to the floor.  His hand curved around her body, cupping her breast as he met the flesh of her nipple meet his lips, pulling the bud into his mouth.  Her free hand played with the button of his pants, flipping it apart and pushing the zipper. 

She was met with resistance and immediately Don’s hand shot to his waist to unbuckle and push back his trousers.

“Need some help?” He teased.

“I think you have a defective belt,” she said between kisses. He grinned, stepping out of his pants, pushing Mac to step from her dress, and unbuttoned his shirt and dropped it to the floor.  His arms twisted to pull himself free of his undershirt.

His attention quickly found her marbled form, skinning his teeth across her shoulder. He pushed her forward, and her legs hit the edge of the bed and she fell back onto it, and he fell forward.

“Mac,” he started, and she pressed another deep kiss to his lips.

“No more talking,” she instructed, and he was more than happy to oblige.


	7. Anyday Will Be Fine

_New Year’s Day, 2011:  11:43PM_

Sloan was torn between wanting to know what happened between Don and Mac and wanting to pretend like it hadn’t happened.

But something had happened. At the very least they had been making out pretty intensely at the bar.

What if Mac went home with him?

Sloan’s fingers ghosted over Mac’s number and then she took a deep breath and hit send.

She would ask her to lunch.

And then maybe casually slip into the conversation a question about where Mac spent the night. Casually.

“Hello?” answered groggily.  Her ringtone wasn’t loud but she would have been able to hear it at a rock concert she was so aware of it. 

“Hey, Mac, it's Sloan. Happy New Year's!”

Mackenzie winced at how loud Sloan was on the other end.  “Hey, Sloan.  Happy New Year's.  I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye last night,” she greeted and slipped from the bed into the other room so she didn’t wake Don.

“Yeah,” Sloan paused, clearing her throat. “You, uh, disappeared pretty quickly. I didn't see you and Wade leave.”

“Yeah, arguing with Will will certainly ruin an evening.  And then arguing about Will makes it worse,” she explained.

"So, you and Wade just went home then?" Sloan asked, emphasizing Wade's name. He was, as far as Sloan knew, still Mac's boyfriend.

Mac felt her breath lodge in her throat.  “Ah... no.  By the time the elevator reached the lobby, it was over.  We went our separate ways.”

“That's,” Sloan swallowed hard. “That's too bad. You should have called me. I would have taken you out for a drink.” Sloan knew she was fishing, but Mac was being frustratingly vague.

 “I would have but it was late and I was already furious,” Mackenzie explained but felt she was on shaky ground.  She didn't want to talk about last night to Sloan.  Not yet, anyone, not when she didn't quite understand herself.  “I just needed to clear my head,” she settled with.

Sloan was quiet for a moment, “Oh, yeah, right. I understand.” What she understood was that Mac was definitely lying to her. But Mac was her best friend, and Sloan, as much as she wished things were different, had no claim to Don. “I was really calling to see if you wanted to grab some lunch. You can spill your heart out about Wade and Will, and you know, anything else you want to talk about. Anything at all.”

Mackenzie sat down on the edge the couch, feeling as if she heard some sort of disappointment in Sloan's voice but she worried she was projecting her own emotions across the line.  “Can I offer a rain check?  I'm not feeling that great,” she reasoned and frowned, putting a hand down on her knees.  She caught a glimpse of Don from where she sat but he had to the other side of the bed.  “I drank quite a bit and I'm certainly feeling it today.  Maybe Monday?” she projected, hoping by then she might have more of an understanding of where she stood with Don. 

Sloan nodded before she remembered that Mac couldn't see her, and then forced her voice to be cheerful as she replied, “I'll take that rain check. Monday absolutely works. Feel better, okay?”

“Thanks, I'll see you then,” she tried to sound as if she didn't regret blowing her off or scheduling a lunch date.  She tried to sound as if she wasn't hiding something but Mac was far from the best liar.

“Right,” Sloan replied. Mac really was a terrible liar, with one glaring exception of course. The phone call did little to soothe Sloan's fears. Mac's evasive answers had all but confirmed what Sloan thought she saw. “See you then, bye Mac.”

When she hung up the phone with Mac, Sloan felt slightly adrift.

Mac had lied to her. She had actually _lied_ to her. And Sloan wasn’t sure what that was all about. She had thought that she had hidden her feelings for Don pretty damn well. As far as she knew, no one else was aware that she had a massive, all-consuming, can’t think about anything else kind of crush on him. So she wasn’t sure why Mac felt the need to lie to her about where she was last night.

And then Sloan felt slightly hypocritical. After all, she hadn’t confided in Mac about her large, unrequited, possibly heartbreaking crush on Don. She couldn’t exactly be angry at Mac for not feeling comfortable enough to share secrets with her. And God, that was depressing too. Sloan’s best friend, let’s face it, her _only_ friend, wasn’t comfortable enough to tell Sloan all the dirty details of her drunken New Year’s Eve. Sloan wasn’t particularly good at having female friends, she never had been, but she was under the impression (admittedly thanks to marathon viewings of _Sex and the City_ ) that’s what friends did. Shared tales of drunken hook ups over copious glasses of wine and decided they were better off without men. Men, who needs them?

It was still late morning, and while it was probably socially unacceptable, Sloan could really use a drink. And a quick inventory of her kitchen made her sorry Mac had declined her lunch request for other reasons.

Damn, she really needed more friends.

And then a thought occurred to her. _Will_ could be her friend. And she could also find out what he knew, if anything. She wasn’t sure if he would agree to go to lunch with her, but if she sat here alone in her apartment with only the company of her thoughts, of what could have happened between Don and Mac, she was going to go crazy.

She had Will’s number, she was probably the only staff member other than Mac to actually have a way to reach him outside the office, and before she lost the courage she hit send and waited while it rang on the other end.

 “Yeah?” Will’s voice was gruff and she wondered for a moment if she had woken him up.

 “Will? It’s Sloan,” she started. “Are you around for lunch today?”

_* * *_

Mackenzie pressed end on her phone and stared at the screen until it went black.  The entire thing didn’t feel right; the conversation, her lying, any of it.  She bit her lip and sighed, returning to the bedroom within a matter of seconds.  Don was still asleep and she still felt awful. 

The only light of the room peaked through curtains and she searched for the charger of Don’s phone, hooking it up as it was on its last leg of life. 

Her mind wouldn’t stray from Sloan.  It was just an innocent phone call.  She had quieted after the information about Wade and that had to be it, right?  With a deep breath, Mac shoved off and made her way to the shower.


	8. Battle Of The Broken Hearts

_New Year’s Day, 2011:  12:43PM_

When Don finally woke, he was slow to respond. For a brief moment, he thought he was in his apartment alone or Maggie was somewhere but within seconds he realized the norm was not the case this morning.  
  
He noticed he took up the majority of the bed, trying to figure that into the puzzle before he rolled over to his back. Mackenzie wasn't there with him but he heard the faint sounds of the shower running. He was thankful she hadn't left just yet because he wanted to find answers and knew they were on a slight deadline. A day and a half wasn't enough to really figure out whatever the hell they were but it had to be enough of a start so they could properly ask questions.  
  
Don closed his eyes and sighed heavily, rubbing his hands across his face and groaning while he stretched out. The sound of the shower came to a stop and he rolled over to the edge of the bed, listening to Mackenzie fumble in an unfamiliar bathroom. He swept his legs over the side of the bed and sat there patiently, waiting for Mackenzie to return.  
  
When she pushed back the door to his bathroom, she froze in the doorway. A towel was wrapped around her and her hair was slicked back and dripping. For a long moment, Mac just stared. She still couldn't believe what happened last night nor could she believe she was still in his apartment.  
  
"Good morning. Do you feel better?"  
  
Mac nodded.  
  
"Good."  
  
He didn't mention the food he made her a few hours ago. He didn't know if she would even remember.  
  
"I used your charger, if that's okay. Mine was dying," she confessed. The longer she stood there in a towel, the more awkward she felt, but she didn't know what to do.  
  
Don nodded and stood from the bed. "No problem."  
  
"Sloan called while you were asleep," she blurted and Don stopped in his tracks. He didn't say anything, watching her expectantly. "She was talking a little about last night. I told her I argued with Will and Wade and..." She trailed off and looked down at her feet.  
  
Don jerked and moved to his closest, pulling out one of the smallest shirts he had and a pair of shorts that might fit her if she tied the band enough.  
  
"And?" He asked, trying not to sound worried. He wasn't ready to deal with the outside world just yet.  
  
"And she invited me to lunch. I think she knew I was lying to her," she explained and took the clothes from him. She was careful with how she moved in the towel. Don took note but didn't say anything. Politely, he glanced away and Mac shifted into the foreign fabric.  
  
"What did you tell her?"  
  
"She asked why I didn't call her after the fights and I said I just needed time to clear my head."  
  
"Did she ask anything else?"  
  
Mackenzie shook her head.  
  
"Then you didn't lie. Not really. You just didn't tell her," he offered but knew it wasn't sound advice when Mackenzie tilted her head on disbelief, then shook out a no.  
  
"She knew I wasn't telling her everything. At least, that's how it felt. I don't know," Mackenzie was worried about it. She didn't have answers she needed before talking to Sloan and couldn't risk an awkward, quiet, and vague conversation. Sloan would corner her until she told her.  
  
"Maybe it's nothing," he offered but knew it wasn't much. While Sloan wasn't great with social indications, she wasn't a fool.  
  
"What about Maggie?" Mackenzie asked for the first time. She couldn't remember the conversation at the part and while she was sure most of the conversation was about her, she only vaguely recalled Don irritated with Maggie.  
  
"We broke up. Before you ran into me."  
  
"For how long?"  
  
"Mac."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"For good," he finally offered. "We haven't been happy in weeks and it was a matter of time. I know it's back and forth but it's unhealthy and we just need... to go our separate ways. And you, Wade?" He retorted. She had spoken of fighting but their demise hadn't been clear.  
  
"It's over," she murmured before sitting down at the edge of the bed. "So we are definitely each other's rebound."  
  
Don frowned and sat down next to her.  He wished with everything that he could skip this conversation and move on. He didn't want this to have been a 'too drunk, too angry' event and he certainly didn't want a relationship to start out that way. If this was a relationship, which it wasn't, and... well, he didn't know what it was.  
  
"We don't have to see it that way. Or we don't have to see it any way," he offered instead. He had plenty of rebounds. Any time he and Maggie broke up he often saw another woman but he never mentioned it when they got back together.  
  
Mackenzie sat in silence for a moment. A long, uncomfortable pause that made Don want to squirm and fidget but he put all his energy into sitting still.  
  
"If you want to go back to your apartment, I can call a cab for you. We don't have to talk about it. We can just go back to normal," Don began to fish for a response. Her silence was driving him crazy and just when he was about to speak again, she found her voice.  
  
"I don't know what I want," she explained, shuffling back on the bed so she could pull both legs up. She tugged on his comforter and let it drape across her skin. Her eyes were reddened, a mix of tears and liquor filtering out of her system. She felt in the edge of nausea and her head throbbed. "I don't want this to be because both of us are single or heartbroken or whatever," she offered. She long forgot about Wade after last night but often she was reminded of Will. She couldn't help but wish there was a clear cut answer. Would Don just be a stepping stone to the next point in her life? They were friends but last night a line had been crossed and they couldn't step back over.  She was left wondering what life would be like. With Will, it was difficult. She took her punishment on a daily basis and she was at wits end dealing with it. If things were weird between she and Don, she didn't know where things would end up.

“Mac,” Don started, wondering exactly how could phrase this without totally freaking her out. He felt like they were on dangerous ground and he needed for her to understand that this was more than just a drunken hook up for him. Or, at the very least, he wanted it to be more than just a drunken hook up for him. He wasn't sure what she wanted. “For me, at least, this had nothing to do with me being single or heartbroken or whatever. I need to be as clear on that point as possible. That's...you could never be an easy fuck. Do you understand?”

Mac nodded.  She bit her lip and looked down at the space between them, trying to absorb the words he offered her.  “So then what?” she queried, pulling her gaze toward him.  “Do you go back to work Monday as if nothing happened at all?  Do we…” she trailed off, realizing she didn’t quite know how to form the words.

“Maybe I don't...maybe I'm overstepping my bounds, and please let me know if I do, and I don't want to force you into anything...” Don shook his head, wondering if Mac would upset if he poured them both a stiff drink. This was the type of conversation that went much easier with either a drink or a cigarette, and Don had never been much of a smoker. “But I don't think we can just pretend like nothing happened. I don't want to pretend like nothing happened.” He took a deep breath. “I know you know that I like you, Mac. And I'm not sure what this is, but I want it to be something.”

The corner of her mouth turned upward a little as she focused on him, listening carefully to what he wanted—or what he knew he didn’t want—and she knew they couldn’t pretend it didn’t happen.  At least, she couldn’t.  Secrets were not her forte.  Or relationships, for that matter.  “I don’t either.  I mean, I don’t think things will go back to the way they were before,” she told him, her fingers twisting the fabric of his blanket.  “I want to find out what this is before anyone else does.”

“I agree,” he said, nodding his head a dozen times. He can only imagine the look on Maggie's face when she finds out, and it might make him a coward, but he doesn't think he can handle that yet. Not until he knows for sure what's happening between him and Mac. “I don't think we should tell anyone anything yet. I think that's a good idea.” He reached out and stilled her hand, still nervously playing with the blanket, and gave it a squeeze. “I think so far,” he gave her a small, crooked smile, “we're totally on the same page.”

She didn’t see his hand until she felt it upon her own and she stopped fidgeting with the cloth.  She had worried he would think she wanted to hide it from everyone but he understand and for that she was grateful.  A smile came to her features and she turned her palm over, grasping his finger, intertwining the gaps between each digit with his own.  “I have to have lunch with Sloan on Monday.  I didn’t… think I could get out of it.  She wanted to do it today but I feel like shit,” she began.  Her head still ached and she wavered in and out of nausea.  Mackenzie realized she didn’t know where she was going with this and hesitated her next words.  “It almost felt like she was fishing for something when she called,” she recalled the conversation over in her head but the more she repeated it back, it felt worse and worse like an investigation. 

“She's your best friend, Mac,” Don said. “I'd like to keep this between us, but what you tell your best friend is your call.”

“I don’t… think I want to.  Not now, which makes me feel a little guilty but she’s so damn… _nosy_.  I love her to death but you know,” she responded with a short laugh.  “I hate lying to her,” her brows burrowed in frustration the more she thought about it.  “I won’t tell her,” she offered and brought his hand up and pressed her lips to the back of it. 

“I know your history with secrets,” he prodded and leaned forward when his hand fell from her lips.  She smiled and pushed him back a little but he returned and planted a kiss directly on to her lips that caused her to laugh midway through.

“I'm an excellent secret keeper,” Mac replied grinning. “And I also happen to be pretty excellent at other things too...well, except when keeping that secret also involves emails. I'm not so good when it comes to secrets and emails.” It was Don's turn to laugh, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.  Mackenzie liked the sound of his laugh and she pushed herself upward and into him, pressing her lips against his own.  Don’s hand curved around her waist and pulled her up, causing him to fall on his back.  He stretched out as she straddled over him.

“You’ll have to show me again,” he murmured into her ear as his fingers curled against the edges of his shirt that draped her body, tugging it upward.  “There was a lot of alcohol involved last night. Parts of it are still kind of hazy,” he pulled the t-shirt over her head and to the side. He trailed his eyes over her pale, soft skin as she curved her body to his as she kissed him.

She grinned cheekily, “I can do that. I can show you all the things I'm excellent at. Now, no more talking.” And she leaned down, her breath hot against his neck, and he found that she shouldn't have bothered telling him to stop talking, because he was all out of words.


	9. Let Me Down Easy

_Monday, January 3, 2011_

On Monday, Sloan was determined to get Mac to honor their lunch plans. She cornered her in her office early in the morning.

“We’re still on for lunch, right?” Sloan asked it in a tone that left little room for argument. Mac still opened her mouth as if she was going to cancel, but one look at Sloan’s face, and she pressed her lips shut and nodded a few times, pasting what she hoped was an enthusiastic smile on her face.

She might have fallen short of the mark, though, when Sloan titled her head slightly and gave her a curious look.

 “Everything okay?” She asked Mac, and Mac just nodded again. “I don’t believe you, but you can tell me all about it at lunch. Noon. I’ll be by your office and we can go together.” She swept back out of Mac’s office and caught sight of Will entering his own.

He had surprised the hell out of Sloan when he agreed to go to lunch with her, and even more surprising was the fact that lunch wasn’t totally awkward. It was actually, well, nice. He had treated, insisted actually.

“I make more money than you,” he said bluntly, but Sloan was blunt and so she appreciated that in other people. They had talked about the state of the economy and future of the Euro, before moving onto more personal topics.

Will said little, but Sloan got the impression that he was far from over Mac.

“What do you think of Wade?” He had asked as he pushed his food around on his plate, refusing to look up and meet Sloan’s eye. “You’re her best friend. I just…I thought you might have formed an opinion.”

“They broke up,” Sloan informed him, and she didn’t miss the relief that passed over his face. It was gone as quickly as it came, but he relaxed ever so slightly.

 “That’s too bad,” he said.

“Yeah, right,” Sloan rolled her eyes. “Like you’re really upset about the fact that Mac is now single again.” Or was she? Sloan pushed that thought away, because it was depressing and not helpful.

She would have to work her magic to pry the details out of Mac, because Mac was like a steel fucking vault. Sloan could understand how Mac had kept Brian a secret for so many months from Will. When that woman wanted to it was nearly impossible to get her to spill.

Even still, Sloan was not going to be deterred. She showed up in Mac’s office at exactly noon on the dot, knocking lightly.

“You ready?” She asked, and Mac nodded, sliding her glasses off and standing. Mac had a look on her face as if she was marching off to be executed, and Sloan nudged her shoulder as they walked to the elevator. “You’re acting like lunch with me is torture. It’s not going to be that bad.” And Mac gave a weak smile and pressed the button.

The elevator doors slid open and Don stepped out, his eyes widening at the sight of the two of them.

“Hi Don,” Sloan greeted.

“Hi ladies,” Don answered. “Off to lunch?” The question was asked of both of them, but Don’s eyes never left Mac.

“Yep,” Sloan replied, when it was clear that Mac wasn’t going to.

“Well, have a nice time,” he smiled and headed back towards his office, and Mac seemed to finally snap out of whatever it was that had rooted her to her spot, stepping into the elevator before Sloan.

“I was thinking Italian,” Mac said when the doors closed and they started descending towards the lobby.

“That’s fine,” Sloan said softly. Mac started chattering about a news story, but Sloan could hardly hear her over the sound of her heart breaking.

That look.

The one between Don and Mac.

Sloan was more certain than ever that something had happened over the weekend, but it was finally dawning on her that it was maybe more than just a drunken hook up. Suddenly the last thing she wanted to do was go to lunch with Mac. Her appetite had all but disappeared.

When they got to the restaurant, Mac was still babbling, she wasn't even really sure what she was saying, but Sloan had gotten quiet and she was now just filling the space. They settled into their seats and the waiter took their drink order, and all the questions that Sloan had were suddenly dried up on her tongue.

They were replaced with new questions. Like, was it serious this thing between Mac and Don? When it had it happened? Because as of just a few days ago, Mac was dating Wade and Don was dating Maggie. So when did _this_ , whatever this was, start?

"How was the rest of your weekend?" Mac asked, taking a sip of the wine the waiter sat down in front of her. Both had ordered a drink, although Sloan was suddenly wishing that she had ordered something stronger.

"Oh, fine," Sloan answered. "I went to lunch with Will." Mac choked slightly on her drink.

"Will?"

"Yes."

"As in McAvoy?"

"Yes."

"You went to lunch with Will? My Will?" Sloan's eyes narrowed.

"I don't think he's _your_ Will," she countered, and she caught the flash of hurt that flickered across Mac's face.

"Right," Mac said softly. "Right."

"Well, you weren't around for lunch so I called him," Sloan answered. "It was nice. We talked about the economy and the Euro." She could tell Mac was dying to ask what else the two of them had talked about. Had they talked about _her_? Had they talked about the fight that Mac and Will had before she stormed out of the New Year's Eve party and down to the bar?

"That's really great," Mac forced a smile. "I'm glad the two of you are getting along so well." She was saved from saying anything else by the waiter coming over to take their orders.

"How was the rest of _your_ weekend?" Sloan asked, and while she wasn't always good at reading people, no one could have missed the way that Mac tensed, running her finger along the rim of her wine glass while she thought over an acceptable answer.

"It was fine," Mac said finally. "I spent most of it recovering." And she gave a little laugh. "New Year's Eve was a rough night."

"What exactly happened?" Sloan pried. "Give me all the details."

"Oh, not much. I fought with Will. Broke up with Wade, and then got way too drunk." It wasn't a lie, Mac thought to herself. She had just omitted some of it. "To be honest, I don't really want to talk about it, if you don't mind."

Sloan did. She minded a whole lot, but she couldn't say that, so instead she gave Mac what she hoped was a sympathetic smile.

"Sure, of course," she answered and Mac looked relieved. Instead they started chatting about work, about the gossip that had come out of the weekend: Tamara allegedly going home with Gary, Jim hooking up with Maggie's roommate Lisa. Mac was careful not to stray too far into the office gossip. Talking about Jim meant talking about Maggie which meant talking about Don. And she was _not_ going to talk about Don. 

Mac was never so happy to hear both of their phones going off, which meant something was happening and they were needed back in the office. She quickly got their check, wrapped up the rest of their food and apologized to Sloan for having to cut their lunch short, but secretly thanking the Universe or whatever deity intervened on her behalf.

Mac made a resolution to try to avoid alone time with Sloan until she knew a little more about what was going on with her and Don. She loved Sloan, she did, but Sloan asked too many questions and the problem wasn't that Mac didn't want to answer, the problem was that Mac didn't _know_ the answers. And until she could figure them out, it was probably best for all parties if she limited her time with Sloan.


	10. I Will Try To Fix You

_Saturday, January 8, 2011_

Mackenzie had invited Don over to her apartment Friday night after he was finished with the show.  When News Night was finished, she wrapped up and quickly left, fortunately avoiding any awkward run in—especially with Sloan—and realized on the way home how nervous she was.  She hadn’t really seen him during the week and it gave her too much time to think about everything that could possibly go wrong.  The beginning of the week had been rough with Sloan but since then, she had been able to successfully avoid her (she couldn’t help but feel at one point that Sloan was avoiding _her._ Part of her was relieved, but part of her was more than a little hurt).

She quickly forgot all her worries when a knock at the door signaled Don finally arrived.  If she thought they might talk a little she was wrong.  They were quickly occupied, and she should have figured that, seeing as they hadn’t seen each other outside of the office in five days.

Most Saturdays, Mackenzie still woke at her normal time but this time she was still asleep when her phone started to ring on the other side of the room.  She groaned and covered her head with a blanket before admitting defeat.  Don was slowly coming to reality, but was less concerned about Mac’s ringing phone than she was.  When she didn’t make it to her own phone in time, she heard the sound of a foreign phone and Don shot out of the bed to search for it.

“Hello?” he answered when he put it to his ear.  Mackenzie gripped her phone and watched Don before she tried to make any more calls.

“Okay.  Yeah, I can be there soon,” he spoke into the device before pulling it away.  “Charlie’s about to—”

Before he finished the sentence, her phone rang again and Mackenzie answered.  She cursed quietly.  “I hope this is a joke,” her expression was quick to find frustration before she hung up the phone after announcing she would be there shortly.

They wasted no time getting ready and reluctantly decided to take the same cab.  “It’ll be too early for anyone to be there,” Don reasoned and eventually Mac gave in and got into the same vehicle behind him. 

Before they arrived at the building, Mac was looking through the crowd to see if she saw anyone.  Don reached over, squeezed her hand, and she offered a smile.  He leaned forward to kiss her softly before encouraging her out and onto the street where they quickly shed everything unrelated to the shitstorm they were about to walk into.

Both of them broke for Will’s office, stepping through as Charlie spun around to greet them.  He stared for a second while he gripped the magazine.

“That was awfully in sync.  You guys ride together?” he joked before turning the glass of scotch upward and extending the magazine out as Mac snatched it from him.  Don shifted behind her and sat down in a nearby chair.

“My night with Will McAvoy,” she began.

“Sex, drugs, and guns,” Charlie finished.  Mac spun around.  Her knuckles went white with anger as she gripped the magazine.  Charlie stared for a moment longer before taking it from her and leaving his office.  A few minutes later, he returned with Will.

“We need a whole team for this?”

“Don’s a good advisor for damage control.”

“When does it come out?” Will asked.

“It’s out!” Charlie shouted.

Don tried to organize the story, asking Will questions that he easily answered but saw no harm in them.  The conversation turned from simple frustration to a shouting match.  Don glanced back at Mackenzie who was more focused on Will.  He could see a shield of pain come across her expression and he was torn between wanting to comfort her and wondering how he could compete with her former boyfriend. 

“Hang on.  You’d never allow a non-compete clause in your contract.  You can’t stay off television for five minutes,” Mac interrupted, her arms tightening across her chest at the new discovery.

“It got… put in,” Will began stumbling over his words when he realized his trap.

“When?” she asked.  Will stared at her, unresponsive.  “When, Will?” she snapped.

“When I renegotiated my contract.”

“To be able to fire me at the end of each week.”

“Yeah.”

Mackenzie’s jaw tightened, her fingers clenching the fabric of her sweater, and she looked down.  Don shifted in his seat but jerked the moment Mac made a move to leave the office.  He remained in place even when Will followed her out and he had to remind himself he was on thin ice with whatever relationship he had with Mac.

“Jesus Christ!  How much do you hate me?” he heard her shout before he leaned back and sighed, running his hand across his face.  Charlie looked down at him but spun around to watch through the glass. 

They both listened as Will and Mac shouted at each other in the bullpen and within a few moments, they were shouting at each other back in the office.  Don sat there, uncomfortable and unable to do anything, while they tried to put back together the messed laid out in front of them.

It wasn’t long before Maggie shot through the door, frantically stumbling over her words of a news break.  The air of the entire office changed as all five of them left Will’s office.

“What’s going on?” Jim shouted from the other side of the office.

“All hands!  There’s been a shooting in Tucson and a congresswoman, Gabrielle Giffords, been shot in the head!”

Anything related to the TMI scandal was put on the backburner as everyone burst into the bullpen, picking up phones and dialing numbers, to find out whatever information they could while the painfully manipulative song, _Fix You_ , played in the background.

_* * *_

Sloan was already having a day.

Her alarm went off late, her hair wouldn't do what she wanted it to, she was out of coffee at home and the line at Starbucks was out the door, and when she finally did get her cup of much needed coffee she spilled a good amount of it on the front of her cream colored sweater.

Yeah, the day already sucked and it hadn't even properly started yet.

So the last thing, the _very_ last thing, she needed was to arrive at the AWM building to see Mac climbing out of a cab, her head tipped back in laughter, followed closely by Don who kept a hand on the small of Mac's back as he leaned in to pay the driver. Sloan was too far away to catch any of what they were saying, but once the cab drove away, Don wrapped an arm around Mac's shoulders, pulling her to him and pressing a sweet kiss to her temple.

It wasn't the behavior of a couple who had made a one-time drunken mistake. Those were the actions of a couple who were a _couple_.

"Shit," she mumbled as she blotted at her sweater and fought back the urge to cry. Part of her had been afraid that they were more than just fuck buddies, but another part of her had hoped, desperately hoped, that they were just fooling around.

Because what about Will? (And a smaller voice asked, what about _her_? Even though she knew that was ridiculous. Neither Don nor Mac knew about her awful, growing crush on Don.) He was going to be devastated when he found out about Don and Mac. Wade had been bad enough, although she was pretty sure that everyone knew that would never last.

Will, and Sloan admittedly, seem to operate under the impression that Mac would be waiting for him whenever he finally got over whatever it was that he had to get over in order to forgive her and trust her again. That when he figured it out, Mac would be waiting in the wings for him to sweep her off her feet. Wade hadn't even really changed that impression, because Mac never loved Wade, which was clear. She was trying to make it work, but that was only because Will wasn't giving her any sort of sign that he was near ready to try _them_ again.

But Don, shit. If Mac was dating Don, if she was serious about Don, then for the first time Will might have actual competition.

Sloan waited enough time for the two of them to be safely upstairs before she walked into the lobby, jamming the button for the elevator and attempting to calm herself down. 

The longer she thought about it, the more she moved from upset to angry. How could Don and Mac _do_ this to Will? (And to her, a little voice said, and she pushed it away.) Will loved Mac, more than Don possibly could. (Or could Don love her as much as Will loved her? Was there something about Mac that Sloan didn't have that made intelligent, handsome men fall hard and fast for her?)

The elevator opened to their floor and she stepped off, feeling sorry for herself and feeling sorry for Will, and feeling bitter about feeling sad, and that anger began to build until she was finally seated at her desk in the quiet of her office, and she pulled up her email and shot off a message to Will asking if he wanted to have lunch later that day. Something had to be done about Mac and Don before it went any farther.

She figured there was no one who would be more invested in seeing that relationship fail than Will McAvoy. And she needed his help.

_* * *_

Sloan was pleasantly surprised that Will was around for lunch, albeit a late lunch, and once they were settled at a tiny little place that he claimed made the best burger in New York, she cleared her throat and decided to lay it all out for him. She thought about easing him into it, but instead it all came tumbling out of her mouth.

“I think Don and Mac are together and I think it might be serious.” Will looked stunned, and Sloan wished for a moment that she had gone with her original plan of going slowly.

“What?”

“Don and Mac. I think they hooked up on New Year’s Eve, but I think it was more than a hook up,” Sloan said hurriedly. “And, just so that everything is out there, I also think that you should know that I have a pretty big, and increasingly distracting, crush on Don.” Will leaned back in his seat and let out a long huff of air.

“Don and Mac?” His voice sounded strangled.

“Yes,” Sloan nodded.

“What makes you…I mean…how do you know?” Will asked. Sloan began laying out her evidence, watching as Will’s face became more and more crestfallen.

“I thought you should know,” Sloan told him. “Partly because I didn’t think you should be blindsided by it, and partly because I have the beginnings of a plan.”

“A plan? For what?” Will asked, and a grin slid across Sloan’s face.

“To break them up, of course.”


	11. Bluebird of Happiness

_Wednesday, January 26, 2011_

 

There were more and more days during the week that Don showed up at Mackenzie’s door.  They had discovered waiting until the weekend was too much a burden to explore what may or may not be of their relationship.  The more they saw of each other, though, the sloppier they got at hiding it at work.  It was far from signs of affection but they spent more time together—in each other’s offices, near the control room during broadcasts they weren’t sharing, and overall a little more time together.  No one said anything and both assumed they hadn’t noticed—or were too smart to mention anything—but they knew it wouldn’t be hidden forever.

“They’re not idiots,” Don reasoned.  “If they haven’t figured it out by now, eventually they will.  How many times did I stop by your office—or you by mine—before the new year?”

Mac shrugged as she fiddled with the pen between her fingers.

Don watched her fidget and thought it was endearing.  She wasn’t afraid of their relationship but she had reservations.  Maybe it was Will, or even Sloan, especially after hiding it for so long, but it was clear both were a little tired of keeping it under wraps, and perhaps the reason they were a little more lax lately with some of their interactions.

“We don’t have to hide forever,” she decided and pushed the pen on to the desk and stood from her computer chair.  She bent forward and pulled a grey and blue thermos from her bag.  “I made some soup last night and thought you’d like some for lunch today.”

Don slowly took it from her but it was clear his expression had more questions than he was giving her.

“I didn’t think you could cook.”

“Don’t be rude.”

“Sorry… just…” he trailed off, pulling the thermos to him.  She laughed in response, lightening the mood back up.

“I can’t, really.  Not well.  But I can definitely make soup.  Just give a try before tossing it out.  Or don’t let me know you do,” she smiled to show she was serious.  “It really is good.”

“I believe you,” he admitted with a smile and he restrained every effort to lean in and kiss her.  She noticed and she just let her smile linger for a moment as she stepped back.  “I’ll catch you later, okay?”

She nodded, strands of her hair falling in her face that she brushed away carefully.  “Are you coming by tonight?”

“I was thinking you could swing by my place.”

“You leave later than I do.  That’s why it’s been easier during the week?” she argued, hoping it was enough to sway him in her direction instead.

Don gave her that.  “Okay.  Yeah, no problem,” he decided but he wasn’t entirely sold on it. 

She saw the exchange in his gaze as he stepped back and moved to the door.  She glanced out through the glass—no one was particularly paying attention—and he left with a wink back toward his office.

He had settled in already that morning, even had his own lunch, but he couldn’t pass over the soup Mac brought for him.  He was still surprised she had done it—the act of bringing him food less than cooking—and it put a stupid smile on his face.  He put it down near the phone as he came around to begin going through his notes for the show that evening. 

Don wasn’t at it long before his door swung open without a knock and he looked up to see Will standing in front of him.  He was suddenly uncomfortable in front of the anchor but he tried to let it roll of his back.  It hadn’t been twenty minutes since he was standing in Mac’s office—after making sure Will wasn’t in his own—and he couldn’t fathom why McAvoy was standing there.

He nodded his head a little and suddenly he didn’t know what to do with his arms.

“Hey, Will.”

“Hey Don,” Will gave a little nod and settled himself down in the chair across from Don's desk when his eyes narrowed at the thermos. “What's that?”

“Lunch,” he answered and almost felt he should hide it but it was a little too late.  “Can I help you with something?”

“What'd you have for lunch?” Will asked. He recognized that thermos. He had bought it for Mac himself when they had been dating. Soup was the only damn thing she knew how to cook. Sloan had told him that she thought that Mac and Don were getting serious, but Will had never expected this. He swallowed hard, but tried to keep his face neutral. “Looks like soup.”

Will didn’t answer his question and it only made Don feel singled out.  “It is,” he admitted but he wanted to lie about it.  But what was the conversation he just had about not hiding forever?  Will certainly wasn’t the first person he wanted to tell.  He leaned forward to grab the thermos and put it away.  He didn’t want it to be the center of their conversation.  “I’m sorry I didn’t bring enough for everyone in the office.”

Will had suddenly had enough of this conversation. He tapped his fingers a couple of times on the arm of the chair, and then stood. “Well, enjoy,” his voice had a hard edge to it. “Smells delicious.” And he walked out without telling Don what he needed in the first place.

He watched him go, not having realized he had been holding his breath.

“Fuck,” he murmured, and leaned forward on his desk, worried his heart might pop out of his chest. 

_* * *_

Will left Don’s office and went straight to Sloan’s. She looked up in surprise when he came storming in.

“She made him fucking soup, I mean what the fuck?” He exclaimed, and Sloan was confused. What the hell was he talking about? Soup? What soup?

“What are you talking about?” Sloan asked.

“Mac made Don soup,” Will said, bracing his hands on the back of the chair and hanging his head.

“Mac can make soup?” Sloan asked incredulously.

“It’s actually delicious,” Will sighed, coming around to drop heavily into the chair. “And if she made him soup…well, shit.”

“I think we need to step up our game,” Sloan said, her voice determined. “How’d you leave it with Don?”

“I just stormed out,” Will admitted.

“Okay,” Sloan nodded. “Okay.” She stood, straightening her dress.

“Where are you going?” Will asked.

“We’re going to put the fear of God into Don,” she answered.

“The fear of God?” Will questioned, and she shot him a smile.

“Well, at least the fear of Will,” she corrected, and hurried out of her office to Don’s.

_* * *_

Don tried to give himself a few minutes to calm down, having put the thermos nowhere in particular since Will disappeared from his office.  Don fumbled in his pocket for his phone and pulled up Mac’s name to send her a message. He was pretty sure a few years came off the end of his life.

Sloan knocked lightly on Don’s door, and stepped inside. His head was resting on the desk and he glanced up at her.

“Will looks like he’s on the warpath, what the hell did you do to him?” She asked.

“Me?” Don replied. “Why do you think it was me?”

“I saw him storm from your office, I assumed you had done or said something,” Sloan shrugged.

“He’s mad?”

“I saw him yell at no less than four interns. He made three of them cry,” Sloan reported. She saw Don’s face turn ashen. “Anyway, just a friendly piece of advice. I’m not sure what you did, but I’d steer clear of him if I were you.” And Don groaned as she walked back out of the office considering it a job well done.

_* * *_

The rest of the day had Don in a giant clusterfuck.  He sat in his office during News Night and waited until they cleared out before he got ready for the ten o’clock segment.  Once or twice he caught sight of Will but he did his best to avoid him and he hid in the control room until it was time for Elliot’s showing. 

Will didn’t approach him the rest of the day, though, and he didn’t see Mackenzie.  He didn’t make any effort to seek her out, though, because something was just _wrong_ in the pit of his stomach.  It was until after Elliot’s showing that he was asked about it but Don brushed it off, offering the anchor a good show, and then got ready to leave for the rest of the night.

He first thought of going home but decided against it when he got in the cab.  He gave the address of Mac’s apartment and within a matter of minutes, he was stepping through her doorway and handing the thermos back toward her.

“How was it?” she beamed with a smile.  Don had never sent her a message and she didn’t seem bothered by the fact she hadn’t seen him anymore after that morning. 

“Good,” he replied.  “Really good.  Do you have more?”

Mac couldn’t remove the smile from her face as she nodded and zipped to the kitchen.

“Mac?” Don called.  She responded from the kitchen as he came in a moment later.  “Have you told anyone yet?”

She stopped what she was doing to turn and look at him.

“No,” she answered carefully.  “Why?”

Don shrugged but she could tell something was bothering him.

“Don.  Why?”

He slid into the booth on the other side of the counter from where she stood.  After a deep breath, she went back to ladling some of the soup into a bowl to heat. 

“Will came into my office today,” he finally offered, his hand gripping the thermos she had placed on the counter.  Don noticed she stopped what she was doing to look at him.  She was well aware it wasn’t for anything casual or else he wouldn’t have brought it up. 

“What did he want?”

“That’s the thing.  I have no fucking idea,” he explained and ran his thumb across the container.  “He asked about my lunch and wouldn’t tell me what he needed.  He eventually stormed off and according to Sloan, he yelled at some of the interns so bad he made them cry.”

Mac dropped the ladle and jumped in surprise when it hit the floor.  Don looked up suddenly, watching as she picked it up. 

“Mac?”

“I didn’t think twice when I grabbed the thermos I gave to you.”

“Mac,” Don repeated.  It was as if she had a piece of the puzzle hidden from him and only showing bits of it at a time.  “What about the fucking thermos?” he asked but something told him he wasn’t going to like the answer.

“Will bought that one.”

“God damn it,” he cried and leaned back on the stool.  He shoved the thermos off to the side.

“What?  You said this morning we weren’t going to hide forever.  I know we didn’t plan when—”

“But do you think the first person I want to know is Will fucking McAvoy?”

“Stop cursing at me, you ass,” she retorted, shoving the bowl in the microwave.

Don frowned and looked down at his hands but didn’t say anything. 

In his silence, Mac angrily pushed buttons on the little oven.  She waited until it beeped before she looked back at him and offered him the soup.

“I’m sorry,” he finally offered and pulled the bowl close to him. 

Mac shrugged it off but the new turn of events had certainly killed the evening. 

“What’s the chance I have the only thermos like that?”

Don glanced up as he slurped.  Mac twisted her face and he straightened up, asserting better manners. 

“You should have seen him, Mac.  He has to know it was from you.”

“But that doesn’t mean anything.  For all he knows, we exchanged recipes and— _fuck_.”

Don tilted his head a little, cocking an eyebrow, as if to say _I told you so._

“Well, the veil had to unfold at some point, right?” Mac asked and Don shrugged a little, consumed in the soup.  “Sloan’s going to be mad.  She knew something was up after the party,” she mused but she didn’t get much of a response from Don.

“I think you should make this soup for everyone to show them you _can_ cook,” he presented and Mac just stared at him.

“Did you hear anything I said?”

“I did.  But this is good.  Surely you can’t blame me for that,” he responded and shoveled the spoon through the broth.  “Seriously.  Where did the rumor you couldn’t cook come from?”

“It’s not a rumor.  I really suck at it.  But soup?”

Don smiled and turned the bowl bottoms up and emptied it. 

“This soup kick’s Campbell’s Chicken Noodle any day.”

Mac laughed and came around the bar, leaning in to give him a kiss on the cheek. 

“Look, don’t worry about it, okay?  We agreed we didn’t have to hide and… well, maybe we don’t have to.  Will will just have to get used to it,” she gave as an offering.  Don spun around on the barstool and faced her, pulling her toward his lap, and she leaned in between his knees. 

“You can’t tell me he isn’t a little scary,” he wrapped his arms around her trunk.

“Maybe to you.”

“You’re not dating his ex.”

“C’mon,” she deflected and pulled him away.  “It’s been a long day.  I just want to sleep.”

Don obediently followed; led by the grip her fingers had around his own, and couldn’t help but think the shoes he had to fill were far too big for his feet.


	12. That's What Friends Are For

_Thursday, January 27, 2011_

When Don started staying over during the week, they didn’t go to work together, but as it went on they got lazier and lazier, and this morning was no different.  After the previous day and learning Will most likely knew _something_ was up, they said to all hell and just went for it. 

When Mackenzie got out of the cab, Don followed, and they rode up at the same time.  They kept some sort of distance, without wanting to draw immediate attention to themselves, but she was on a mission the moment she left the elevator.  He lightly touched her hand and she smiled, letting him drift off in the direction of his office and she went toward hers.

Martin was the only one there that morning—Will hadn’t even arrived yet—and she settled in for the next while as she organized her day full of meetings before the show. 

She caught a glimpse of blond hair walking past the desks and computer, gaze down, and a white knuckled gripped on a briefcase that showed he was clearly in no mood.  She bit her lip and debated the day but after a moment, she shoved herself out of her office because there was no sense in second thoughts.

Will was shrugging off his coat when she pushed through the door without knocking.  He looked up mid-shrug and paused, wondering what in the world she could want at this time, but her look of determination stopped him from speaking because he knew he would find out in a matter of seconds.

“Don’t intimidate Don,” she instructed.

Will draped his jacket across the back of his chair and raised a brow while he prepared to sit down.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“I’m not sure I did,” he retorted.  He knew what she said.  He knew what she meant and he knew what she wanted, but there was no way he was letting this go that easily.  “You can _not_ be serious about this.”

“I very well can and I very well… will,” she answered but the words weren’t nearly as smooth as she intended.

Will smirked and it only fueled the fire. 

“I mean it.  You’re not an idiot; otherwise you wouldn’t have made a fuss in his office yesterday.  Did you _seriously_ make three interns cry?”

Will was about to object but he thought of Sloan and how she swept from her office in confidence and he honestly had no idea what she said to him.

“I’ll apologize to them.”

“That’s not the point, Billy.”

He winced.  He was starting to hate that.  “If you give me the god damned ‘ _I moved on’_ spiel again, Mac, I swear—”

“ _What_ Will?  That I can’t move on?  Maybe I was a fool coming back here and thinking I could fix things and then you ran off and started dating half of New York City!”

“God damn it, Mac, you have got to be kidding me.  You came back here chasing some fucked up dream that it would go back to the way it was.”

“I did and clearly I was wrong.  I’ve figured that out.  I’ve figured out that you’ll never forgive me—not even to be professional—and I’m _done_.  I really am.  I won’t be chasing you or groveling at your feet like a hungry puppy anymore and that means you don’t have the right to _bully_ Don, got it?”

Will stared at her as she began to lose it, his expression stoic which only drove her crazy, and he thought she might pull her hair out.  There was a long silence between them as he leaned back in the chair as if to relax and he could see the slight tremble of anger in her face.  He knew she was about to tip over.

“And you really choose Don for this?” he asked as casually and calmly as possible, watching her face turn red before she leaned back on her heels.

“Fuck you,” was the last thing she said before she flew from the office.

Will watched Mac retreat, and clenched his fists before shooting off an email asking Sloan to stop by whenever she had the chance.

He hadn't been on board, not completely, with Sloan's plan to sabotage Don and Mac's relationship. He had been, apparently falsely, under the impression that the relationship would just fall apart on its own. But fuck that. Mac was serious, he could see it in her eyes, and he wasn't sure if he was completely ready to forgive her, but he _wanted_ to be, and he would lose her, lose her for good, if he didn't do something about it.

Sloan knocked a few minutes later, and he beckoned her in.

“Close the door,” he instructed, and she did as she was told.

“I'm in,” he told her. “Whatever your diabolical plan is, I'm in. Completely and totally in.” Sloan's eyes narrowed.

“What changed your mind?” She asked.

“We had a fight,” he sighed. “Mac and I, we had a fight. She came in here to tell me to back off of Don.” He grabbed a cigarette and lit it, taking a long drag as he leaned back in his chair.

“It's serious, isn't it?” Sloan asked in a quiet voice, and he hesitated, and then nodded. “Do you think they love each other?” Even just thinking about that, thinking about those words coming out of Mac's mouth and being directed towards someone other than _him_ , made Will ache.

“I don't...” he started, and then finished with, “know.”

“She still loves you,” Sloan finally spoke up. “I _know_ she does. She's just...being wooed. She was vulnerable and feeling hurt by you, and by Wade, and Don swept in at the right moment. She loves _you_.” She kept telling herself that to ease the guilt of breaking up her best friend's relationship. Mac did love Will. Everyone could see it, everyone knew it. In the long run, neither Mac nor Will would be happy with anyone but each other.

She was doing this _for_ Mac. And yeah, for herself.

Will didn't say anything, lost deep in thought.

“I'm going to go check on Mac,” Sloan said, standing.

“To do more recon?” Will asked.

“No, because she's my best friend and she's probably upset. She _hates_ fighting with you,” Sloan replied. “I'm going to go check on her, make sure she's okay.”

“Sloan?” Will asked as Sloan's hand was on his door. “We're doing the right thing, right? Breaking them up?” He gave a sigh. “At the end of the day, I just want...I want her to be happy. And if he makes her happy...” His voice trailed off.

“We're doing the right thing,” Sloan confirmed. “They're not right for each other. It's bound to end in disaster. We're just helping speed things along.” And she swept back out of his office towards Mac's.

_* * *_

Mac was more frustrated now than she was before she went to Will’s office.  She made an attempt to get some work done before her first meeting but it turned into an unorganized pile of papers on her desk that she didn’t know what to do with.  She often found herself staring down at the words without being able to read what was printed on them, her mind wandering to places that was just making the day worse. 

Eventually she shoved the mess on her desk away and leaned back in her computer chair, her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose while she tried to clear her mind.  Tears sprung to her eyes suddenly in annoyance. 

She didn’t have long to hold them back when she heard a knock at her door and she quickly sucked in a breath to prevent her glassy gaze from spilling over onto her cheeks.  It made it worse when Sloan was standing on the other side of the door and she couldn’t stop her expression from showing just how upset she was.  She waved a hand for her to come in and the economist slipped through the door and sat in the chair across from her.

Sloan frowned, her eyebrows sloping together in concern, "Are you okay?" she asked.

“I’m fine.  I’m just tired.”  Mackenzie didn’t make eye contact with her friend and instead focused on her papers. 

The look Sloan gave her clearly indicated that she didn't believe her. “I heard you had a fight with Will. Apparently you two were quite loud. I was just checking to see if everything was okay.”

“I think they need to redo the walls in this place.”

Sloan gave a small laugh. “There is a distinct lack of privacy in this place, but don't think I didn't notice you didn't answer my question.”

Sometimes Mackenzie couldn't tell if Sloan was really this terrible with social cues, as concerned as she confessed, or just fishing for information. Mac leaned back a little in her chair to look at her.  “We've done nothing but fight since I came back here,” she exaggerated. “It just hits a little harder when it's not work related.”

Sloan bit her lip. She knew, having talked to Will, that there was more to it than that. The fight was about Don, and step one in getting Mac and Don to break up was to remind Mac why she should be with Will instead. “He still loves you, you know. Will, I mean. Everyone knows it. He doesn't fight with anyone else, not like he fights with you.”

Mac let silence linger for a moment. Part of her knew he still did and she never denied she loved him. It had just been a long shot when she thought he might come around. “I know,” she replied, “he would forgive me if he didn't.”  She but her lip and looked down at her hands.  “I told him I wasn’t going to live beneath his shadow anymore. I have spent the last four years trying to get forgiveness, being miserable, nearly dying, and well... I can't take it anymore.”

Sloan bit back her panic. If Mac was actually moving on, she and Will were toast. Her plan hinged on Mac still being hopelessly in love with Will. This was supposed to be for Mac's own good, but now Sloan wasn't so sure. Why did Mac have to choose Don to finally move on? “You probably need to get drunk. And as your best friend I insist on taking you out for drinks tonight. We'll toast to being single. I won't take no for an answer. Hang in there, Mac, I don't think the Will situation is nearly as hopeless as you think it is.”

Mackenzie looked up and watched as Sloan’s expression didn’t quite match her plan.  She crossed her arms over her chest and pushed the back of her chair a little bit further.  She wasn’t even able to crack a smile as misery set in.  Being with Don—especially in secret—had been easy, for the most part.  When their secret was threatened, it became much more complicated and she kind of wished it would have remained that way.  She didn’t have to worry about Will or Sloan or anything and she could pretend she was single just to appease her for a night.  But Will knew.  And if Will knew, she was sure it wouldn’t remain a secret for long. 

“You have to be single to toast to it,” she finally said as she bit the inside of her cheek while her entire body went cold with the admittance.   

Sloan froze. “Oh? Who's the lucky guy?” Shit, Sloan thought, shit, shit, shit. Was Mac really going to admit it? Was it that serious?

She ran her hand across the back of her neck, pressing her nails into her skin to keep her grounded.  As much as Mackenzie wanted to back up a few steps—a lot of steps, actually—she couldn’t.  She couldn’t even hide it from Sloan for a little while longer and she tried to think about her chat with Don and not having to hide anymore but what if hiding had been the best thing about it?

“It’s Don,” she confessed and held her breath.  It wasn’t a name she didn’t know, or a person.  It wasn’t someone she had met somewhere or online or anything.  It was a friend, a colleague, and potentially changed everything.  Sloan would find out—for certain—Mac had lied to her for the better part of a month.  “It just… it just happened and we didn’t tell anyone because we didn’t know exactly what it was,” she rambled on and leaned forward, bending over her desk a little.  As much as she wanted to look up and see Sloan’s reaction, she knew she couldn’t.  Mac had felt awkward around Sloan since the Monday they had lunch and she had battled between her paranoia of Sloan knowing something and the actual fact she did know something.

Sloan felt hot tears prick at her eyes, and she needed to get the hell out of Mac's office. She needed to go find Will and tell him Code Red. They were publicly dating. It was more than just a fling, and though Sloan had known that, to hear Mac say it, confirm it, broke her heart. Sloan tried her best to have her voice stable as she choked out, “Don? Oh wow, that's...wow. Don.” She wasn't sure if she had done a very convincing job of being nonchalant, but she didn't care. “I should go. We can talk later? We can go get that drink later, but I need to go. I should go.” Sloan was aware she was rambling. “I want to hear all about it, Mac, honestly. That's great, you and Don, that's great.” The lie hurt, felt heavy on her tongue. “So congrats! That's great.”

“Um… okay,” was all she offered because she suddenly couldn’t think about anything over how Sloan was acting.  She had been a little strange from the beginning of the conversation and with the news, it only got worse.  “I will catch you after the show,” she offered and she suddenly regretted the decision to tell her.

“Great,” Sloan was aware that she had just repeated the word great probably too many times, but she was desperate to get out of Mac's office. “So I'll see you later.” And she spun on her heel and hurried out of the office.

_* * *_

The rest of the day didn’t feel right.  Will knew, Sloan knew.  It was a matter of time before the entire office knew.  She wasn’t, however, going to go desk to desk and let them know.  She was just… going to go about her business without so much reservation.  Mac had sent a text to Don to let him know and she dropped by his office for a little while; they had lunch together and she told him how the morning had gone.  How Will handled it, and Sloan—most of all, Sloan.  She hadn’t been right when she left her office and she would try to figure later that evening if her friend was up for the drink.

Eventually, Mac tentatively approached Sloan’s office and knocked before she pushed herself in.

“Hey,” she greeted and tried to smile but found it too difficult to hold.  “You were great in your segment,” she offered but didn’t get closer to the desk and sit down.  She stood near the door in all her discomfort.  “You still want to get that drink?”

The very last thing that Sloan wanted to do was go get that drink, but she nodded.  “Sure.”

Mac smiled a little bit it was forced and she let it slide.  She didn’t know what would come of their evening or where it would lead them but she could already feel the tension.  She knew she had screwed up when she didn’t tell her at the start but she hoped, for their sake, that she would understand. 

“I’ll meet you down there,” Sloan offered and Mackenzie nodded, stepping back and out of the office. 

Sloan stepped into the bar and immediately spied Mac sitting on a stool at the end of the bar. She took a deep breath and crossed over, dropping her purse onto the counter and sliding onto the empty stool next to her. The bartender caught her eye and immediately began pouring Sloan a Jameson and ginger ale. “So,” Sloan said. “How long have you been dating Don?” The words were awful, they got stuck in her throat, but she managed a weak, what she hoped was encouraging smile.

Mackenzie looked up when Sloan sat down, putting her phone away in her own purse, and playing with the straw of her drink.  “I don’t know if dating is the right word, I guess,” she mused as she chased the ice cubes of her drink.  “I mean, yeah.  It didn’t start out that way.  Not really.  It was after the New Year’s party and it kind of just happened and we didn’t really know what it was at first but…” she trailed off and turned her head a little to look at Sloan.  “I feel bad that I didn’t tell you when it happened but we just kind of… wanted some time to figure it out without making it complicated.”

Sloan was grateful for the drink that appeared in front of her. She took a long swig and nodded a couple of times. “I can understand.” She didn't. “That's really great though, that you seem to be moving on from Will.” It wasn't. “I'm really happy for you.” That was a bold lie.

“Thanks,” she replied but it felt farfetched and unnecessary.  Mac didn’t like that Sloan brought Will into the conversation but she wasn't surprised.

"Is it serious?" Sloan asked, attempting to be nonchalant.

“I don’t know.  Maybe?  I just know I like him and I want to see what happens,” she admitted.  But serious?  They were sort of forced out into the open when Will figured it out.  “I can’t keep living in Will’s shadow forever.  I can’t keep thinking I’ll serve my time and it will go back to the way it was, because it won’t.”

Sloan paused. Mac was angry at Will, and Sloan knew that was mostly because of the fight earlier, but couldn't help but think that that bitterness had been growing for a while. _Shit, Will,_ Sloan thought. They were more screwed than Sloan had thought, but she was many things, but she was not a quitter. "Well, I think that's great. Don's a great guy." He was. He was a great guy, and Sloan desperately wanted him to be her great guy.

Mac nodded.  “He is.”  She sipped at her drink and knew it wasn’t going to be enough.  She waved down the bartender for a refill but in the meantime she turned a little on her stool.  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.  I really am.  I didn’t like lying to you and I don’t want you to think I did it just to… hide it from you, okay?”

Sloan wasn't sure what to say to that. A lump formed in her throat. She had been upset that Mac had been keeping it from her, but she hadn't been upset for the reasons that Mac thought. "Well, I fully expect relationship updates from here on in. I like to think I'm your best friend, Mac. And that's what best friends do. Or so I hear, I've never really had one before."

She winced a little but tried to hide it.  “You are,” she told her and watched as a new drink was set in front of her.  “I hate that as your first best friend, I’m pretty shitty at it,” she added and offered a small laugh, hoping to relieve some tension between them.

"There's a learning curve," Sloan teased with a small smile.

“Good.  Are you okay about it?  About… all of it, I guess?  I’ve kind of only gotten generic answers from you.”

"I was just shocked," it was Sloan's turn to lie. "I didn't think you were ready to move on from Will yet, and Don, of all people. It's just going to take some getting used to, I think. But I'm okay, honestly." What a fucking lie, Sloan thought.

“I did a terrible thing to the man I loved and… I wouldn’t forgive me either.  I have to accept that and move on, right?  I don’t want it to be weird for anyone, we’re all adults—and we talked about how to… I don’t know, make it public?” Mac shrugged but didn’t quite know what she was reaching for.  “It’s not an announcement.  And after yesterday, we kind of had to work fast and that sorta just led into me fighting with Will.  Again.”

"You two do fight more than any other two people I've ever met," Sloan replied, draining her drink and gesturing to the bartender for another. "But I don't know about the not forgiving you part. I can't speak for Will, but it seems to me that he's trying very hard to forgive you. And he wouldn't bother trying at all if he didn't still love you."

“Maybe he’s trying but he’s got a piss-poor way of showing it.  He’s doing everything he can to punish me since I’ve been back, as if three years in exile weren’t enough.”  Mac watched as the server poured another for Sloan while she took a long swallow of her own but waved the tender away for now.  She knew she would need to refill if they stayed on this path.

"Let's change the subject," Sloan suggested. The last thing she needed was to get Mac even angrier with Will.

“I’ll drink to that,” she added and downed the rest of it but waited to refill it. 

Sloan took another drink. "I probably should go. It's been a long day for me, and I can only imagine how much longer it feels for you." Sloan had no intention of going home. She had to talk to Will. She had to get him to lay off Mac, or they were doomed before they even started.

Mac looked down into her glass but she didn’t object.  She frowned a little but she didn’t want to push it.  She wasn’t one hundred per cent sure Sloan was okay with having kept this from her but she had to take what she could.  “Yeah.  Okay,” she replied and looked at the time.  It was after eleven.  “I’ll see you tomorrow?” she asked as she began to grab her bag and push her glass away.

"Absolutely," Sloan said, digging money out of her wallet and laying it on the table. She shrugged on her jacket and climbed off the stool. She paused and reached out and gave Mac's arm a squeeze. "I just want you to be happy, Mac. That's all I want."

“Thanks,” she said with a smile, turning and taking Sloan into a hug.  “Good night.”  Mackenzie fished for her phone once more to text Don as she began to leave the bar.

Sloan called Will as soon as she left the bar.

“Hello?”

“Will, we need to talk,” Sloan insisted. “I’m on my way over.” She didn’t give him time to argue, or try to explain. She hung up the phone and hailed a cab, heading straight towards his building. He buzzed her up immediately, and the first words out of her mouth were:

“You’ve got to stop fucking with Mac.”

“I’m not fucking with Mac,” he argued.

“This fight? Today? She’s pissed, Will. Seriously, seriously pissed. You aren’t helping our cause. You’re hurting it. You’re pushing her right towards Don. Are you done punishing her?” She put her hands on her hips and glared at him.

“What, are you, what?” He sputtered.

“I’m not an idiot, Will, and neither are you, and neither is she,” Sloan’s voice was firm. “You’re hurting her, you’ve been hurting her since she came back, and she’s done. Do you understand? She’s absolutely done. So if you aren’t ready to forgive her, or if you still get some sick pleasure out of hurting her, if that’s why you want to help me break them up, then I don’t want, or need, your help.”

“I don’t want to hurt her,” Will said quietly.

“What?”

“I don’t want to hurt her,” he repeated, louder. “It’s never…I’ve never gotten…I don’t want to hurt her. I love her. It’s always been her, it always will be her. I’m not doing this to fuck with her, or because I want to punish her. I’m doing it because I love her.”

“Okay, then,” Sloan said. “I’m glad we’re clear on that. Pour me a drink. We need a plan.”


End file.
